ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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