no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
