Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
