I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I party with great urgency now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
