so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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