hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
