Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
