That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
