This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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