I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
