why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
