The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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