Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
