She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
