Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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