Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Fuck appropriateness.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
