and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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