so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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