she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
