ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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