Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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