I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
