yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
