She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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