the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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