so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
