You can't motorboat a personality
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
