Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
