since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize