wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
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There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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