She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
