O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
