just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
