I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
