Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize