these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
