I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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