her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
wow bdsm is so cute
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
