we're blogging at a bar
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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