Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
