I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
