I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
