Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
