Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
