Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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