Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
