I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
