New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize