I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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