Yo dont text me then not text me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
