God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
