i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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