No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
