The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
