So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
