the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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