My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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