My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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