I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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