i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
