That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
