I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize